The relationship between clergy and parishioners is one of the most nuanced and complex relationships of all. Where are the boundaries between one's priest and one's friend?
I think priests and their spouses absolutely NEED friends in and out of the congregation. The problem comes when some parishioners feel excluded from the “inner circle.” Having said that, often those folks often lack confidence anyway. Is that self-differentiation?
Years ago I heard my daughter tell her college friends that I was her best friend. When she was a little older, I explained that while we thoroughly enjoyed each others company and deeply cared about each other, we could never be “friends”. My reasoning was based on the imbalance in the relationship. It would be unfair of me to share some of my troubles about other family members with her. I see relationships with pastors in the same way. The relationship is very meaningful but not one where both sides can openly confide in each other.
PS I so enjoy learning from you but your use of Hermeneutics in today’s sermon drove me to the dictionary!
I think priests and their spouses absolutely NEED friends in and out of the congregation. The problem comes when some parishioners feel excluded from the “inner circle.” Having said that, often those folks often lack confidence anyway. Is that self-differentiation?
Years ago I heard my daughter tell her college friends that I was her best friend. When she was a little older, I explained that while we thoroughly enjoyed each others company and deeply cared about each other, we could never be “friends”. My reasoning was based on the imbalance in the relationship. It would be unfair of me to share some of my troubles about other family members with her. I see relationships with pastors in the same way. The relationship is very meaningful but not one where both sides can openly confide in each other.
PS I so enjoy learning from you but your use of Hermeneutics in today’s sermon drove me to the dictionary!